If you really knew me

you'd know that I enjoy blasting 80's music while I do the dishes.
                          I can't put down a book once I start it.
                          earphones gross me out.
                          I've never kissed anyone.
                          I have a horrible sense of direction.
                          sometimes I can't sleep because I'm worrying about nothing. everything.
                          I' terrified to speak at the open mic. final.
                          I am extremely lazy, especially this last term; I've lost all motivation.
                          I enjoy going to the grocery store.
                          I am a horrible dancer.
                          I love Disneyland.
                          my family is really disappointed that I decided to stop playing volleyball.
                          I just saw the new Godzilla movie and Godzilla rocks.
                          I have scoliosis. And I just had to look up how to spell that. that's embarrassing
                          I rarely cry, but when I do it's the controlled, silent kind.
                          my dad just threatened to spray mustard on the clothes that my brother left in the bathroom. That's not really relevant but I think it needed to be said.
                         I don't make things happen. I hope and wait for things to happen and that needs to change.
                         I don't really know how to talk to people.
                         I wish I could get tan. #gingerprobs
                         my room is a complete disaster right now, but I can't bring myself to clean it.
                         I love to go on walks. By myself and with my mom.
                         I don't actually know how many more days of school are left. #clueless
                         I don't know why I've been using hashtags in this post. #feelsright
                         I didn't graduate from seminary...
                         I regret quitting the piano, but I'll never tell my mom that because she said I would eventually feel this way.
                         I reallllly enjoy food. #eatingtapiocapuddingrightnow
                         I can feel myself being annoying, but I cant't stop with the hashtags. #sorrynotsorry
                         I didn't learn my ABC's until the end of second grade. My parents said I was more interested in singing songs about flowers.
                         I don't think my boss likes me.
                         I have other homework to do tonight, but I ain't gonna do it.
                         there was a time in ninth grade when I didn't really have any friends. I dreaded lunch time.
                         I never wear my retainer. #shizjustgotreal
                       
                       
                     
                   
                         I don't usually talk about myself.
                       

I Remember

I remember feeding the ducks breadcrumbs in the pond by our house in Murray.

I remember the lady with the three dogs that scared me, so I hid in our laundry room.

I remember getting lost at Cornbellies and nice ladies helping me find you. You were wearing a yellow shirt.

I remember reading Junie B. Jones late at night when I was scared.

I remember summer days when all I did was ride my bike.

I remember the Thanksgiving where Connor and I both wanted the wish bone. He got it and I cried, but you still gave me my wish. A barbie.

I remember watching Freaky Friday and School of Rock an insane number of times.

I remember crying when you didn't bring me home any Panda Express.

I remember the day that my Grandma Pat died.

I remember when I wanted glasses in third grade, so I faked the eye test and pretended like I couldn't see.

I remember absentmindedly singing the line, "if I ever lose my hands..." in Moonshadow by Cat Stevens when there was actually a person without a hand standing next to us on the bus.

I remember getting cornrows on the cruise we went on and it looking extremely hideous.

I remember doing weird experiments on worms with Chloe.

I remember dropping my tamagotchi in the toilet and being devastated.

Imagine beautiful thoughts sitting around you as you read

I'm kind of over getting told to throw my hands up in the air #sothere

I hate talking to distant relatives at wedding receptions. It's the same conversation over and over again. What are your plans after high school? What college are you going to? What are you going to major in?
It made me distinctly more aware of the fact that I am graduating in a month and I don't have any clue what I want to do.

I should have just gathered everyone together and told them all at once ,"I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I'M DOING. SO THERE. "


Wahoooooooooo

How to Make Important Decisions

1. Identify all of your options.

2. Make a pro/cons list of each option.

3. Look at the list.

4. Realize that you still have no idea what to do.

5. And that this will determine the course of your life.

6. Aggressively tear up pro/con list paper.

7.  Die a lil bit.

(rage)

"I'm all alone and I'm cold and it's dark outside" chair