The Pictures on my Wall

I'm looking at the pictures hung up on my wall.

Some of the people in them I barely even talk to anymore.

And I look really happy in this one where I'm posing next to a statue of a walrus, but I distinctly remember that I was annoyed because I discovered that my little brother had eaten all the hi- chews right before the picture was taken.

I wonder how many times I've actually smiled because I was genuinely happy in a picture.

We say we take pictures because we want to remember the moments.
But maybe we're just remembering what we wished the moment was.

And I think that's not even why we take pictures anymore.
Now we do it for likes on Instagram or Facebook.
And that's kind of sad.

The Duck at the Pond

The breeze makes the water slowly ripple towards the shore.
I see one lone duck
Wandering around next to the shore.
It won't go  any further.
It stays only by the familiarity of the shore.
Now I see a group of five other ducks.
They're making their way toward the middle of the pond,
Exploring and experiencing together.
But still, the lone duck stays
Next to the shore.
And here I stay,
Alone, never venturing past the shore.


I can't leave the shore and I don' know why.

Some of the Best Things

• Dancing around in the kitchen to Disney music while your English classmates are taking a vocabulary test
• Taking a nap by the fire on a snowy winter day
• Pretending you're in a music video at night while singing along to a sad song as you glance out the window into the darkness
• Going to the movies and eating popcorn and milk duds
• Popcorn
• Milk duds
• Being home alone
• Sleep
• Laying outside while the sun is beating down on you (and not getting sunburnt)
• Laughing 
• Finding someone who hates the same thing as you
• Grandma's chicken noodle soup
• Knowing that you only have a term left of high school 

What My Bones Said

My bones told me to use them. They work so I should use them.

They told me to get my butt off the couch and climb a mountain. And run. And dance. And ride my bike. And skip. And walk.

To Move

I think I forgot that they are there. I have bones inside me.

I remembered I had a bone in my arm that time I broke it while riding my bike; it's interesting that they told me to move and in doing so I hurt them.

That bone in my arm eventually healed. It works fine now. Bones heal with time just like any other kind of pain.

I was hesitant to ride my bike again after I broke that bone in my arm. But they told me to "move" even after I hurt them.

So I did.

And I guess that's kind of what life is about.



My bones want me to do things. My bones don't want me to take the easy way through life.

My bones told me to move. To keep going.

My bones want me to live.

My Attempts at Similes as a 7th Grader

Disco Sucks

Things end.

      Things that I love end.

                And that's annoying.

My childhood ended when recess ended. 
         And my friends started saying, "Lets hang out" instead of "Lets play"
                    And people laughed when I said I wanted to be an artist. "That won't get you any money"

My Grandma's life ended two years ago.
        I didn't hug her or tell her I love her enough.
                  And my Grandpa didn't remember how to live in a world without her.
              Cancer is the worst.

Kohler's ended.
         Now it's Ridley's and I don't know why that makes me mad, but it does.
                
Friendships end.
              And it seems lately that more people are going than coming.

Freaks and Geeks ended after 18 episodes.
            To whoever is responsible for canceling it: I hate your guts.



"Hey, Bill. Get up. That's how that drummer from Led Zeppelin died."

I felt the need to share this. And I love Jimmy Fallon.

What Am I Afraid Of?

I'm afraid of growing up and becoming a fat lady who never does anything. I think that could easily happen to me. Sometimes it's easier just to eat and watch netflix and never leave the house because that would require moving and interacting with other humans. Yeah I think I'm going to grow up into a fat lady who never does anything.

I'm afraid of not doing anything important in my life. I keep hearing that a single person CAN make a difference, but I hope I'm smart enough to know what I want my difference to be and brave enough to actually do it. 

I'm afraid of the dust in my attic. And in the places I can't reach. 
I'm afraid of the dark.
I'm afraid of crossing the street.
I'm afraid of time. Because I know that it will go too fast.
I'm afraid of all the stuff I don't know. And all the stuff that I don't know that I don't know.

I'm afraid of what people think of me when I chase my horribly naughty dogs around my neighborhood with meat in my hands to get them to come back inside.

I'm afraid of the seizures that the older one of those horribly naughty dogs has on a weekly basis. And how much time she has left.

I'm afraid of my parents dying. I don't how I could function in a world without them.

I'm afraid of being forgotten.

I don't think the question is what am I afraid of.
What am I not afraid of?